In Limbo

The ICD-10 hospital billing code Z71.1 denotes a patient "with feared health complaint in whom no diagnosis has been made." If I'm being honest, I hate billing codes. The hospital registrars or coordinators sometimes use these codes on orders or accounts instead of writing out the actual or suspected diagnosis, and it is my job as a radiology clerk to figure out what they mean and replace the code with the diagnosis. I'm pretty sure we have a program for it, one where you can search either the code or the diagnosis and it gives you the other, but honestly, it's easiest to just google it.
I like working at a hospital. I applied for my job because I figured I would know what I was doing, since I've been in and out of hospitals since high school. I've probably gone through close to 10 primary care doctors since I was 14, some helpful, some rather dismissive. As a discloser, this blog is in no ways discrediting the amazing and difficult work that doctors and nurses do to diagnose and treat their patients. I just happen to be one that has been struggling to receive a diagnosis for quite some time.
I read through reports, check in patients, look at images, and receive calls every day about people struggling with every health issue imaginable, and I can't help but just being slightly envious of the majority of them who know what is going on in their bodies. They know why they're sick, they might have received a diagnosis, they are receiving treatment or are obtaining further examinations to begin treatment. Of course, some of the diseases, disorders, sicknesses, and ailments affecting these patients are terrible, and I don't envy or undermine that at all. I envy the peace of mind that they might not even know they have.


To sum up the last year or so, I have simply been declining in health. I guess it all started in the summer of 2015 when my shoulder started hurting intensely at random times. I had just moved to Colorado (weeks after my knee surgery) and would be starting school in the fall. I began going to physical therapy twice a week, but whenever I played percussion, lifted heavy objects, or even just slept on it wrong, it could be painful all day. This lasted my entire school year, and in early spring of 2016, I began experiencing extremely intense chest pain during percussion rehearsals. I went to the emergency room twice to learn that it was most likely a case of costochondritis, or inflammation of the tissue and cartilage in the ribcage. They gave me muscle relaxers and told me to ease up on the physical exertion and stress, which proved to be very difficult, and it only got worse as time went on.
Fast forward to May, and I was getting ready to drive up to Alaska with my boyfriend and best friend to work for the summer. Later that month, I got mono. That was a terrible time. I was out of work and bound to bed for close to two weeks. My whole body hurt, my throat was closed up and hurt to swallow, I was exhausted and weak, I had no appetite, I lost close to 10 pounds. After that incident, I got sick almost 15 more times that summer. The last 2 months consisted of once-weekly sick days where I could hardly get out of bed, my whole body felt weak, I could barely stand and had awful migraines, and I was unbearably nauseous. I started getting ulcers and sores in my mouth and my hair was falling out more than usual. I blamed stress from my then 50-60 hour work weeks, but upon coming home to Utah in September, I continued to get sick. Not as often, but still sick.
New symptoms have started to present themselves since then. In addition to my periodic weakness and constant fatigue, the chest pains have returned and my abdominal pains from my 4+ year struggle with dietary restrictions began to worsen. I began having heat flashes and fevers, the migraines got worse and more frequent, I gained 20 pounds out of nowhere, I am cold all the time (and I was terribly susceptible to the winter cold), I started having periods of faintness and lightheadedness, and the slight tremor I've had for years has begun to get worse at random times. Overall, I am just lost and confused with only slightest of ideas what could be wrong with me.

On that depressing note, know that I don't blame my doctors. I understand that they're only trying to prevent misdiagnoses or making my problems worse. It's just gotten to the point where I almost have to make separate visits for different aspects of my pains and symptoms. This visit I'm going to focus on my fatigue and migraines. This visit is for concern about my tremors and faintness and concern towards my aunt's recent diagnosis. And so it has continued.
I'm not sure the reason for my starting this blog. I think it might be mostly to get it all off my chest. Maybe it's my feeble attempt to reach out at last straws. Whatever the reason, there's my story thus far! I suppose I'll keep this updated with my health status every now and again.